Decided to ‘update’
Well, after serving me well for 4 years, the old workstation has been retired. Frankly I'm amazed that Ikea’s cheapest and not so cheerful, had lasted as long, but after a few wobbles had developed into more of a mini earth tremor every-time I walked into the room, time for an update was due.
So, where do I look, well if in doubt, become a sheep for a day, and follow the flock to the mecca of the home furnishing affectionados, Ikea here I come woohoo (thats WooHoo without the capitals!)
Now, I have to argue with myself, do I go on my usual principle of buying ‘unusual (and usually overpriced), so as not to be a sheep’, or do I go for the, ‘buy mass produced, but excellent value, so as to allow more pennies for cool toys’ approach.
After a while I notice people start to stare at a mad man standing in Ikea talking to himself about the pro’s and con’s of buying a desk from Ikea. After a few minutes I realize it’s me that they are staring at. I decided to stop scaring the kids, after all they’re already being scarred for life by the parents forcibly dragging them around Ikea, training them in the ways for being a sheep for later life. So the lovely (sic) Ikea ‘not quite how it’s pronounced’ workstation it is. After looking a few models over, I settle on one, that i decide I can modify to suit my needs, that being fit up to hold my vesa mounted Apple monitor. www.apple.com
Next mission, find a member of staff, too order said workstation. Debate if GPS and personal locator might be best way of locating said staff members, but then, utilizing vision enhanced biological material, more commonly known as eyes, locate the retina burning insipid yellow of the staff uniform.
17 minutes, yes 17 minutes, 1 min to ask, and then show, the item required, and 16 minutes for the staff member to discover what printer had printed off my confirmation.....but only after using the pull and hit the printer below his terminal technique to see why it had not printed out there.
Now it’s at this point I regret not purchasing the optional ‘Ikea’s of the World’ maps for my TomTom navigation, how in deuces name do you get to the pay point? As much as the vases, rugs, home and kitchen goods, curtains, and god know what else try to tempt me, I just want to know where the short cut to the bloody tills is, to hell and back to the modern retail principles of shop layout.
Now after adopting the Michael Palen esk, Around Ikea in 28 days, mentality, I discover the profit centre of the store, better known as the tills. In a stunning example of efficiency, the money is extracted, and I’m sent on my merry way to collect my goods, if only the rest of the operation had been this simple, but on reflection, money makes the world go around!
Having collected my goods, I reflect on a slight oversight, how am I going to get the bugger into my car? Simple answer......I’m not. Cracking out the bat phone, time to call in one of the many favours from small sibling brother, owner of the oft slagged off, but eminently useful Citröen Berlingo. 10 minutes later, it’s shiny silver Berlingo bus to the rescue. Bish bosh, and in it goes, marvelous.
We rejoin the story with the workstation, wee bro, and myself trundling towards my abode in the bungle bus (aka Berlingo), and the sudden realisation, that I have left the keys to my said abode in my car.......beautifully parked up at...you guessed it, my wee bros. Stunning piece of logistics, this takes skill I assure you.
We opt for the ‘stash it around my back garden behind the wheelie bins’ plan (that was devised in 30 seconds flat), so, thats what we did. This was followed by the drive home, my dash home, and then the discovery that the better part of 50KG is bloody hard to move on ones own!
Part 2 : The end of the line, and the dawn of a new age...coming soon.
The new workstation!
Saturday, 20 May 2006
